Smile
by KKYuki173
Summary: Gone with the flashy clothes and pretentious smile. The walls she had built up through the years were slowly crumbling. Inside it was a small, lonely girl.


**A/N: Warning! Multiple ships ahead. Prepare for collision.**

 **よろしくおねがいします！**

 **Disclaimer: I do not own the Love Live! Franchise or any of its characters.**

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 **Smile**

Summary: Gone with the flashy clothes and pretentious smile. The walls she had built up through the years were slowly crumbling. Inside it was a small, lonely girl.

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I anxiously chewed on my lip. I don't know what to feel. I was honestly worried but there was irritation building up inside me. My brows were furrowed and I stared hard at the blinking red light.

"Nicocchi, calm down." Nozomi tapped my shoulder. I spared her a hardened glance before returning my gaze. When the light finally dimmed, a man in a white coat went through the doors. Through the distant buzz, I could hear him inquire who was part of the family of the patient. I stood up from my seat and he acknowledged my presence, gesturing that we talk to some place more privately.

"She fainted from over fatigue and excruciating pain ." He stated like it wasn't obvious but I already knew that from the start.  
"Really... That idiot." I muttered. The guy was probably taken aback by my comment, seeing that he suddenly stopped. After gesturing to him, he continued to drone about his analysis.

"I'm very sorry to tell you but with the condition of her body, I don't think she would last any longer. I'd give it a month or─ no, she might not even last for a week. Her body is collapsing and her organs aren't functioning that well either. I think it would be best if you prepare for the worst." He cleared his throat before sparing me a sympathetic look I didn't need.

"I'm really sorry but all we can do now is lessen her pain until the day comes." The doctor finally walked away from the scene, leaving me alone in that lonely hallway. The empty space resembled how hollow I felt.

I know that I should feel sad. I know that I should be bawling like a child. I know how I was supposed to feel but there was only void in me. Maybe I got too numb from everything I went through these past few years. Maybe all those troubles were able to harden me through my core. I am no longer that weak child who would clung to others as a clutch. I am strong. Holding on to my resolve, I could feel a small throbbing inside of me. I can withstand this. I need to be strong.

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"Ni-Nico, I heard about some rumours. Is it true that you're not going to college?" Eri suddenly confronted me after class. All I could do was nod meekly in response.

"The tuition fee shouldn't be a problem. We both got a scholarship at that arts college. What's stopping you?" I knew that she would be informed because of Nozomi, but I didn't think it would be this soon.

"I can't continue that path with you anymore, Eri. I need to earn. I need to help my family." I was about to go when she suddenly grabbed my shoulders.

"I don't understand? Don't idols earn a lot? Won't it be enough once you achieve your dreams─ our dreams?" Eri was confused. Her current state was breaking my heart but I had to be strong. I needed to be stronger than this. The grip that I had on my bag became tighter. I didn't even realize that I was gripping its strap, wishing that it could give me the strength that I need to stick with my decision.

"I can't wait for that long. My family needs me now. I can't be selfish just to go on stage with flashy clothes and a pretentious smile. All the while my family is suffering. This stupid childish dream of mine won't bring food to the table. There are so many uncertainties." I tried to put her off. I wanted her to despise me. I'm leaving her on air like what my so called friends did to me back then.

"I-I'm sorry. I understand. I'll support whatever your decision is. Just so you know, you can always come to me if you need any help." She was trying her best muster a smile but her tears kept flowing. Both of us knew that this would be the last time our dreams could grow together. Pulling me into a tight hug, it caught me off guard. I couldn't help but sobbed as the truth dawned upon me.

"I really really l-" She softly whispered. I struggled from her hug, cutting her off.  
"I should go." I muttered, acting like I heard nothing. I didn't know why but I was afraid of hearing it from her. I was scared that it may break my resolve.

I knew that our paths would have to part ways. I can't keep her waiting while I prioritize my own family. No matter how felt deeply about her, I knew that she would always come second.

"O-Okay..." Eri could only give a meek wave before I started walking away. I haven't even made 3 steps away when she suddenly grabbed my wrist.

"Nico! I'll always... I'll wait for you even if it would take forever. I'll always lo-" I panicked at how she was easily breaking down my walls. I swiped my hand away and threw her an icy glare.

"Eri." She could only look at me in shock before muttering an apology. She didn't need to apologize, I did, but that was something I couldn't do. Looking away, an unbreakable silence permeated between us. After a few seconds, I finally took it as a cue to leave. I didn't turn around, afraid of what I might see. Continuing on my trek, all I could hear was her faint sobs that was slowly fading away.

Even though we probably felt the same, I believe that she deserves someone better. She deserves someone who would be able to love her more than I could. She deserves someone who could treat her better. She deserve someone who would prioritize her over everything. I have to... I have to disappear from her life, even if it hurts so much. Even if I might slowly die inside.

All I could do was let that single teardrop roll down on my face. I swore to myself that it would be the last time I would let myself be weak.

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' _Liar._ '

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 **A/N: And~ the first chapter ends here. Thank you for reading. I was planning for a one-shot but it would take me longer to cram everything up so this will probably take 3-5 chapters to finish.**


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